Candis McDow is from Atlanta, GA, and has been a mental health advocate since 2014. She has lived experience and charges to bring awareness to the oblivious and provide hope to peers.
Sapiosexuality is a type of sexuality that involves being more attracted by the contents of a person’s mind than by the appearance of their body. In order to feel sexually attracted to another person, a sapiosexual person must first feel intellectually stimulated.
Sapiosexual Definition:
By definition, sapiosexual means that someone finds intelligence sexually attractive or arousing. It means that intelligence is often the first quality a person notices in a potential partner.
The word sapiosexual originated from the Latin root word ‘sapien,’ which means wise, and ‘sexualis,’ which means sexual. Sapiosexual is still a fairly new word, as Merriam-Webster’s first known use of the word was in 2004.
Anyone can identify as sapiosexual, including both heterosexuals and LGBTQIA+ people. This means that people who identify as sapiosexual may be straight, gay, asexual, or another identity.
This article discusses what it means to be sapiosexual, how to determine if you are sapiosexual, and suggests ways to meet other sapiosexuals.
Understanding Sapiosexuality
For people who are sapiosexual, the way another person thinks is a highly appealing quality. It is the intellect that stimulates sexual attraction. Let’s take a look at what it means to be sapiosexual.
It Starts With the Brain
Because attraction is centered on the intellect or how a person’s mind works, people who are sapiosexual do not feel attraction until their mind feels stimulated by a potential partner. There is no lust, liking, wanting, or sexual gratification unless the brain has been stimulated on an intellectual level first.
Anyone Can Be Sapiosexual
Unlike gender-specific restrictions, sapiosexuality has no limitations. You can like men, women, trans people, bisexual people, or any person of any gender or sexual identity. You are free to be attracted to whomever you choose.
Sapiosexual people are attracted to and focus on the inner workings of a person’s mind more so than the other person’s exterior.
Sexuality Becomes Less of an Entity
When sapiosexuals are in search of a partner, they focus more on their potential mate’s intelligence instead of their looks. This means that superficial qualities like body shape, size, or facial features take a backseat.
Because intelligence is valued more than looks, sapiosexuals people may be more likely to show their attraction for others in ways that aren’t focused on appearance.
Criticisms
Sapiosexuality is a relatively new term and is not without some controversy. Some have argued that it is not a legitimate orientation but a type of attraction. People who describe themselves as sapiosexual, however, suggest that intelligence is more than just a quality 
they appreciate in a partner-it’s the primary factor driving their sexual attraction, just as some might be drawn to an attractive body or a beautiful face.
Others have suggested that sapiosexuality is both pretentious and discriminatory. The term has been criticized as being both ableist and Euro-centric. The focus on intelligence implies that people base their attraction on cognitive abilities and devalues those who may be disabled, neurodivergent, or have less access to formal education. It also focuses on Western-centric measures of intelligence without acknowledging other forms of intelligence and intellectual curiosity.
How Do You Know If You’re Sapiosexual?
Let’s take a look at some of the common attributes of sapiosexuality. If you find yourself agreeing with the majority of the following statements, there is a chance you are sapiosexual.
You Prefer Deep Conversations
You might be sapiosexual if there’s nothing better to you than engaging in a complex, stimulating conversation. This often means that you will find yourself attracted to others who can effectively express themselves clearly and listen to you do the same.