Key points
- A survey indicated that close to 1 / 2 of college students document creating exposure to an ex.
- People have a lot more talk to when they had thinking when it comes to ex, had friendly breakups, or were not across separation.
- When contact took place as the ex was actually section of a larger pal class, individuals reported more satisfaction using their present affairs.
- People that happened to be unhappy in a unique relationship had been very likely to keep in touch with exes as a possible backup.
It is pretty typical for people to steadfastly keep up experience of former intimate couples. 1,2 But what happens when you enter an innovative new union? Do you realy manage connection with an ex or slash them completely? Can it be harmful to your new commitment in case your ex still is that you experienced? These are typically questions a lot of us can relate solely to, but they haven’t been analyzed much by connection researchers-until lately.
In 2 reports, Lindsay Rodriguez and her co-workers surveyed teenagers in passionate interactions to find out how frequently they communicate with exes, why they uphold get in touch with, and exactly what that says about their current commitment. 3 one learn interviewed 260 undergraduates, who was simply and their latest mate for around per month together with a previous relationship that lasted at the least 3 months.
They learned that about 40 percentage associated with students kept in touch with an ex. For vast majority (over 90 percent), this interaction began within two months of breakup and persisted that occurs at least once every few months. People don’t talk to their particular ex all too often, but a little subgroup-13 percent-had contact with exes several times per week.
That is very likely to keep in touch with an ex? The greater serious the condition of this latest union (e.g., partnered or nearly engaged vs. matchmaking), the less likely individuals had been to have exposure to an ex. However, proceeded communication with an ex was actually not related to how major the connection single parent match because of the ex was indeed. (that is probably mainly because players happened to be reasonably younger, so that they wouldn’t have the same level of expense that requires future communications, instance co-parenting, that may occur whenever considerably committed connections break up.) Instead, it was her ideas regarding their ex and regarding breakup that expected call: citizens were more prone to correspond with exes they nonetheless had thoughts for. These were additionally prone to keep in touch with exes when they experienced your break up was additional positive-characterized by understanding and a lack of mean and unpleasant actions. At long last, those that stated that these were not around breakup had been more likely as opposed to others to keep up connection with their own ex.
Exactly what implications does this bring for those’s existing interactions? Typically, individuals who stayed touching an ex had a tendency to end up being considerably devoted to their own latest spouse than others which failed to, but exposure to an ex was not related to just how satisfying they discover their particular current relationship.
In another research, the researchers furthermore researched how connection with exes relates to the grade of current union by examining individuals good reasons for remaining in touch. They surveyed 169 undergraduate students in relationships, just who stated they communicated with an ex one or more times every few months.
Exactly why keeping the notion of a reunion throughout the back-burner is likely to be problematic
This time, the group found a link between experience of exes and quality of the existing partnership: The greater frequent the contact with an ex, the less pleased members comprise through its recent commitment.